Outcasts, a Wedding (to be) & a Funeral

Dear whoever-actually-reads-this-blog,

OK so I'm warning you now. This is really not a very interesting blog entry, because I am SO tired right now that I really can't think creatively, but I really need to write in this blog, so I am chosing to write an uninteresting blog versus no blog at all. So bear with me, and if you don't want to read through the next few paragraphs of my life, skip to the end and read the last paragraph "THE THINKING BLOT OF THE BLOG", which is something new to my blog that I plan on incorporating into all of my blogs from here on out. I am excited about writing this new addition, so I hope you enjoy reading them (whoever "you" are, which is most likely just me... and I likely won't read back through my blogs...but in case I do, maybe I will make me think...er whatever...)

So it has been a busy last few weeks. A couple weekends back I had my sister, Monica, and her friend Stacey, come to visit from Arizona. My sister is getting married here in San Luis Obispo on May 1st, at a beautiful vineyard here - Edna Valley - so she came to tie up all the details. Edna Valley offers a breathtaking backdrop for the special occasion, and I'm so happy that she will be able to have her special day at such a perfect place.
The first day that they were in town we spent the entire day running around - to the vineyard, the flower lady, the cake place, the photographer, etc etc, la dee da. But it was amazing how smoothly everything went, we basically got everything squared away, everything that was important, so that was excellent.
The second day of the trip we drove down to my favorite shopping spot, Santa Barbara. I absolutely love Santa Barbara, it not only has great places to shop (like Anthropologie and my personal fav - Banana Republic) but it also has a really nice atmosphere (flowers everywhere, vines growing around all the shops, spanish style buildings-all white buildings with red terra cotta tiles), so I just love it. Unforunately Stacey wasn't quite impressed, but if you can't be impressed by Santa Barbara, well then that's a major bummer cuz I just don't know what in the world is going to impress ya! So at least I had a good shopping day. Unfortunately the goal of the day was to find a pair of wedding shoes for my sister and a dress for me to wear to the wedding, neither of which we found, but we managed to find some super cute shirts and pants though! So to me that spells success! That night, at Stacey's request, we ate at an ocean front restaurant - Roses' Landing in Morro Bay, which is a personal favorite of mine. We had such an amazing time at dinner, and Jamie and I provided our typical dinner show, you know, I dropped a scallop in his lap, knocked the silver wear off of the table, the usual. It was a great night. And, believe it or not, I had crab legs for the first time since I've moved here by the ocean, and I have to say they are the best I've had in my LIFE! Can't wait to go back!
The last day of their trip we took them to breakfast at Sycamore Mineral Springs in Avila Beach, where they serve the yummiest breakfasts. My sister was so impressed by the resort that she decided to book the night of their wedding at one of the private cabins, which are just amazing. The rest the day was spent running various errands, and that evening they flew back to Arizona. It was really nice being able to spend time with my sister, I really do miss her. Being hundreds of miles away from my family really makes me appreciate them all the more. :-(

A couple of Mondays back was the memorial for Laura Elder, a sister that was in my congregation. Laura passed away a few weeks ago after more than a year of battling cancer. Even though I knew her condition was very serious, the news was still shocking and devastating. It was always very hard for me to really comprehend how serious her condition was because every-time I saw her or spoke to her she still hadn't lost her strong spirit, and she maintained a very positive outlook, speaking of things in the future, etc. The only real external thing that was a reminder of how sick she was, was how skinny she had gotten. She was so strong throughout the whole dilemma, and I am just so sad that she had to die, because I really thought she was going to make it. She was one of the first people to really make me feel welcome when I moved here to San Luis Obispo, which I was, and will always be, ever so grateful for, because the move ended up being so much harder than I ever imagined it would be, and people like her really made it a bit easier. It was good to go to the memorial, because it really let me have a measure of realization that she really had died, because up to that point I just couldn't grasp the concept. It was a very good memorial, and even though the speaker nearly broke down - which sent me wailing - it was very positive, and focused on what a wonderful person she was, and will be in the new system. It is still hard for me to fully believe that she died. I guess that's because death is so unnatural for us humans. It's especially so hard to watch her husband go through this horrible time, because he loved her so much, and it is really tough to watch him suffer. She truly will be missed. By all.

This last week has been a VERY busy week spiritually. We have the visit of the Circuit Overseer, so we had our meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then we had the Memorial of Jesus death on Thursday night, and then Friday night Jamie had the meeting for the elders and ministerial servants. And then today and tomorrow we have service in the morning. It's been a busy week! The Memorial on Thursday night was very good, a brother from the New York Bethel was in town so he gave the talk. Then afterwards Jamie and I went to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner- The Upper Crust. We got a nice little table by the fire place, which was really nice.

The other thing that happened this week is that Jamie and I joined the local gym, so six months from now we are going to look GOOD! I am hoping that I see some improvements in myself before my sisters wedding, that would make me very happy.

Anyways, the following paragraph is something that I am going to try and incorporate into my blog entries from now on, and I'm calling it "The Thinking Blot of the Blog", because often throughout the week I have something that is on my mind, and I figure why not get it out of my mind and onto the internet, everything else is on the internet!

Ohh! And before I forget, Danielle My French Guru, if you are reading this entry could you please give me your e-mail address, I don't have it and I have been wanting to write you back on the comments you have left me on my blog, and since I'm talking about it - thanks for the comments you have left me on my blog! I really enjoy them. :-)

THE THINKING BLOT OF THE BLOG:
So what I have been thinking about a lot this week is the idea of being an "outcast", because it seems like I go through periods in my life where I look around and I just think "WHOA, where am I, who am I, what am I doing here, and what have you done with my identity!" Now I'm sure that makes no sense to anybody outside of my own head, but let me try and explain it a different way... Sometimes I feel like things are going the way I want them to - I'm comfortable with where I am, I'm completely content - and then out of nowhere I feel like I am ripped out of my skin and I feel completely lost and wonder what on earth is going on in my life. OK, so that probably still doesn't make sense to anybody...ok so imagine you are a train going one direction at 100 miles an hour and ... no...Hmmm, well I guess the best way I can explain it is that I go through waves in my life where I feel completely "with-it" and things are going my way, and then the next moment I feel like I'm completely lost and don't fit in anywhere - an outcast. It's the feeling that everywhere I go I am always on the outside looking in and I can't remove that piece of glass between myself and everyone inside and I am left with my fingers and nose pressed against the glass wondering how on earth I'm ever going to get in. But lately it seems that I have been hearing many people, from many different places, say that they never really felt as though they "fit-in," or that they have always been "outcasts", and I'll tell ya - these are people that you would never expect to say this, and that made me wonder - do any of us ever really feel as though we really "fit-in"? Maybe we are an entire society of people standing outside of the glass with our hands and noses pressed against the glass trying to find our way "in." Maybe the people that actually do fit-in are so few that they are the real outcasts, but they just don't know it? So lately when I've been thinking "why don't I 'fit in'?" I just think to myself that nobody else really fits in either. :-)